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....I hate hipsters. And let me tell you. This one meeting reminded me why I left animation industry and broke off nearly all contact with my cohort.
I want to trust and like Singaporeans who animate. I really do.
But whenever I go and try and mingle.Every time, I lose a bit of my faith in humanity.
What happened this afternoon was like my three very long years in my alma matter. Ignored, stared at and treated as invisible.
...How bad was my social life. The only friends I call friend and am willing to call friend are the lecturers and Digimitsu from the alma matter.
Working at traditional painting with the right equipment was great. But the sheer level of pretentiousness and cliqueness and circleness....Man. I remember. I remember now.
I remember doing all the crap work , like helping the lecturers clean up the shit while they goofed off, I remember being left out. And I remember everyone being in their own little world. Just observing others from a distance, for the artses. And to me, that's really not living. I love making connections , learning about others, sharing. I remember all the societal niceties and hidden beneath, a blade that strikes when your back is turned.
I don't give a crap if you are a dishwasher, a rubbish cleaner or whatever. As long as you are kind, you are friendly and you have humanity in you. I can't stand unkind people.I can't stand people who judge peroid, because I have no time to waste on such nonsense.
I hate people who only are nice because they want something out of you.ESPECIALLY loathe.
Fish that. If I am nice to you. It is cause you are a grade A nice guy .
If I am an a**h*le to you and these days I am willing to turn nasty.
You goofed up. Either you screwed me over one too many for me to ever forgive or just an a**h*le.
I used to get angry.
These days I just leave.
But today really bummed me out honestly because now I know I cannot find real friends within animation.
No.
I knew that all along.
...I just was deluding myself.
And have to venture else where to find in real life friends.
The board photos I took will be up tomorrow. Ta, loves.
I want to trust and like Singaporeans who animate. I really do.
But whenever I go and try and mingle.Every time, I lose a bit of my faith in humanity.
What happened this afternoon was like my three very long years in my alma matter. Ignored, stared at and treated as invisible.
...How bad was my social life. The only friends I call friend and am willing to call friend are the lecturers and Digimitsu from the alma matter.
Working at traditional painting with the right equipment was great. But the sheer level of pretentiousness and cliqueness and circleness....Man. I remember. I remember now.
I remember doing all the crap work , like helping the lecturers clean up the shit while they goofed off, I remember being left out. And I remember everyone being in their own little world. Just observing others from a distance, for the artses. And to me, that's really not living. I love making connections , learning about others, sharing. I remember all the societal niceties and hidden beneath, a blade that strikes when your back is turned.
I don't give a crap if you are a dishwasher, a rubbish cleaner or whatever. As long as you are kind, you are friendly and you have humanity in you. I can't stand unkind people.I can't stand people who judge peroid, because I have no time to waste on such nonsense.
I hate people who only are nice because they want something out of you.ESPECIALLY loathe.
Fish that. If I am nice to you. It is cause you are a grade A nice guy .
If I am an a**h*le to you and these days I am willing to turn nasty.
You goofed up. Either you screwed me over one too many for me to ever forgive or just an a**h*le.
I used to get angry.
These days I just leave.
But today really bummed me out honestly because now I know I cannot find real friends within animation.
No.
I knew that all along.
...I just was deluding myself.
And have to venture else where to find in real life friends.
The board photos I took will be up tomorrow. Ta, loves.
31 Dec 2023
Dear friends, I hope this message finds you well. Today, I wanted to share something personal with all of you, as you are not just my supporters, my dear friends, but also a part of my artistic journey. I find myself grappling with a mix of emotions. My heart feels heavy, weighed down by the recent turn of events. It's a difficult truth to accept, but I can't ignore it any longer. I had a boyfriend. I also got dumped. My childhood best friend, someone who once meant the world to me, has ghosted me. He became my boyfriend again after reconnecting, but our relationship has been a whirlwind of on and off moments. I didn’t dare tell you guys as we weren’t official and I was truthfully never certain. Perhaps I just hoped for something that never was. Point is. Now, he's vanished completely from my life after a road trip he took to a convention. It leaves a gaping hole in my heart, dear friends, an ache that is difficult to put into words. I can't help but question everything –
OMGGGG. I GOT A DAILY DEVIATION
When I was a little girl, around 13 years old, I was introduced to deviantart by my more worldly cousin and I have never looked back. The dream of mine someday, top being making a ton of friends and finding out more about their lives on their side of the globe, was to create an artwork that would merit me a daily deviation. In the early 2000s , to have been awarded a daily deviation was akin of getting an Oscar for artists, at least on Deviantart .It still is , honestly. Though my hopes definitely faded away as each year passed .But lo. After a very terrible day of me getting harassed, of being utterly beaten down by my 'lovely' colleagues , dealing with my Boss from hell from my very miserable day job that pays the bill and puts a roof over my family's head and trudging home afgter a 15 hour work day.... I logged in and was amused to see someone commenting on a comic cover of an upcoming series I am planning to launch possibly next year that I had been awarded a daily deviation
A hard knock of life
My dad had a stroke and fell today, fracturing bone. He is 65 years old this year. The whole family is in shock. I will ...probably update more soon. I just want to say, that this experience , while nightmareish experience highlighted to me the frailty of this mortal coil.My dad isn't invincible, I am technically the head of the house now annnd worse of all... I've been increasingly unhappy at my current day job , which takes me away from my family for long spells of time and asks a lot from me. Art has been sustaining me , but it seems I may be making a push earlier then expected to get into it as a full time gig. But I am at a loss. I was planning to launch two 'easy' comic readers called Bub the Barbarian and Bub eats Singapore as well as keeping up the current spiel of fanart because so many people love the fanart I've been drawing and it makes me happy drawing it. So uh, any advise would be very appreciated ! Again. I know I keep zig-zagging and it is frsutrating for
A new beginning
To all my friends. Over the course of the next few days , I will be deleting a ton of my artworks. I have discovered that despite the wonderful Deviantart adminds reinstating my account, the problem is that a lot of these artworks have weird tags. I feel so horrified that I can not even stand to keep said artworks but have decided to do a purge and reupload of the bulk of my gallery. I will be informing of you all kind enough to favorite my artwork the reasosn of why I have chosen to start purging one by one .So please don't be terrified if you see my artworks missing and a mostly blank gallery as most of my work now will be in storage aside from my comics. I hope you guys can support my decision and am as always appreciative of your support over these past decade and hope we can continue to be great friends over the next few!
© 2017 - 2024 BubbleDriver
Comments4
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I know how you feel. I can't even talk about all the different ways I struggle to connect with my collegues. Lets start with monetary differences first and explain I was homeless for a few portions of my university schooling. I did not blossom under the pressure, I panicked and drown in my own anxiety. I swam to shore after graduation but still struggle to reconnect with everyone else on the cruise ship they called home. I didn't have money for appropriate art materials, I didn't have money to go out to eat with others, or to go to events to talk to recruiters, or time off from work, and rent always comes first and every minor setback becomes a major setback as things snowball downhill. hipsters are very confident in their success, and they only share with the successful. I could go on. lets just say I have a few very close friends who look past all that nonsense I'm very happy to have.